Pregnant Italian Joke

A good joke for the weekend

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back.
He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
‘Honey’, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today’.
‘Oh, really? Let me see…’, he said.
The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:

‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Two with meatballs, one without.
Send extra sauce.’

What is a Tragedy

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss. " The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises
his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy." Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either!!!"

Picture Flash

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.

An Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body. "A XHOSA, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the Coroner.

The Detective is taken to the second dead man.

"A SOTHO, 25, won the lottery, spent it all on Brandy. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Nothing unusual here", thinks the Detective, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. A ZULU, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Detective.

To which the coroner replies: "Thought he was having his picture taken".